Hebephrenia

 Holy shit there is a lot of noise on this blog. Took a look at some past entries. Interesting to come back to all these years later.

Hunter S. Thompson was on my mind earlier. I was curious as to what weapon He used to shoot himself. I could only get it down to caliber. A .45 of some sort. I wonder if the cops took it. The weapon. Or will it lie in the museum they are opening for fans. It should be only right that the gun should be left to the family, but seeing as suicide is considered a crime in many places, I wouldn't be surprised if it was taken.

I'm wearing a HST t shirt right now. I have yet read any of his books but I loved the movies which were semi autobiographical. The narration by Depp in Fear and Loathing was excellent and hilarious. I then watched a couple of documentaries on Hunter S Thompson and found myself a fan of His spirit. I learned that He felt better knowing a way out of this mess via suicide. In AngelTech there is a questionaire and one of the questions is which would you prefer: Slow death or quick decay? 

Recently a Veteran I know passed away in Her home of fairly natural causes despite a long time with mental degradation. She was fortunate to have her beloved friends guide her through that transition. She lived to 78. An Heroic dose of Slow death. She remained strong all the way through it. She was a Goddess devoted to Hecate. 

Last week I was curious as to how Jeff Ward, the drummer for Nine Inch Nails, Lard and Ministry, went about His business. Apparently, all I found was carbon monoxide poisoning. That usually takes five to fifteen minutes. That isn't as quick as Hunter, but virtually painless. The usual method is by vehicle exhaust in a confined space or by attaching a tube from the exhaust pipe to the window. No word on if this is what Jeff did. 

I also came across a anti-psychiatrist Dr. Thomas Szasz. He died by His own hand after suffering a fall. I can find nothing regarding how He did so. He is on my list to read. Don't worry, I can live that long. The idea of lasting long is something I am attached to. Longevity being what it is in this era of pollutants and indulgences, I remain skeptical. Dr. Szasz died at 92. Hunter S. Thompson was 67. Jeff Ward was 30. 

I will continue living and seeing this world evolve as I do, but I live with a dark spirit that impedes my concentration and fills it with curious thoughts. However repugnant or vile they may be, that trash and noise is proof of communication. I have already crossed that bridge. These are spirits. Not emanations from some imaginary subconscious. 

There is material out there regarding this phenomenon but I haven't gotten that far into it. Hell's Angels is at the library. I will pick it up. Make up for this lack of respect for Hunter S. Thompson. I recently read Andromeda Strain by Michael Crichton and I am venturing into Neal Stephenson's Snow Crash. I had been suggested to read it years ago and then it came to mind the other day. The very next day it was on the juvenile shelf laying singled out from the others and I picked it up. 

Hiro Protagonist is a swordsman in the book. I found this interesting because I really enjoy studying swordsmanship. I was shown some basic elements by my friend Jesus Garcia back in Hawaii. I would like to take it up again. It took some time and an investment in the wrong DVD but I was able to find the style he was teaching me Eishin Ryu Iaido. There is a signature movement that made it apparent to me. Thank you Jesus. 

For now I am working on knife work by practicing drills from this book:

It has been a good read an study implement. My Mom has been doing Tai Chi but I am not certain which style. I found a promising DVD on the Yang style here: https://ymaa.com/publishing/dvd/tai-chi-chuan%E2%80%94classical-yang-style-long-form

It goes through the thirteen postures which aligns with my Lunar predisposition. I have suffered a foot ailment and I am attempting to restore balance. Besides, my footwork needs it. The knife I borrow from the Sikhs. They carry a knife as a spiritual item. My Thelemic leanings into their writings has been nil. Though we keep the four volume set here in the kiblah. I yearn to Honor the Moon. I have read some interesting things. It would be nice to read some more.