A great article regarding Liber Vel Jugorum: http://www.kaaos.org/faerie/jugorum.html
Day zero was a vow of silence. This day was far worse than the following others. The count was recorded at 12.
Day one with prohibitions in place:
no letter "s"
"the"
pronouns
The count came in at around 12 (my journal contains the data with accuracy).
Speaking was incredibly exhausting. Consideration was required for every response. There was a significant latency. This latency was excruciatingly frustrating for both me and my audience.
a degree of high concentration, would reveal that a topic may be abandoned far before arriving at a proper introduction. " an example.
In a mild way, this can be understood vaguely. Which was how it translated to most. my brother was an exception. He could understand incredibly well. Far beyond any other.
The count ran to twelve usually. By the end of the experiment all infractions were due to dialogue difficulties within the local community while on errands.
Concentration put me through considerable discomfort. Sometimes, it would reach the point of manifesting as an intense headache. At other times, I became invigorated and filled with "presence" and "powerful meaning". It was always exhausting. Every night I slept deep and had chaotic yet unretrievable dream content. The burning of the cuts were definitely assisting the attention and focus. Overall, the experiment increased a threshold for mental performance.
rant witnessing of The Will. Vacillating back and forth. Reminding me of Crowley and his prayers to Adonai as noted in John St. John...
I left the experiment in the end weak and without confidently expressing my commitment. I am not disenchanted with myself in any capacity. I diligently practiced something that proved to be far more challenging than any other mental exercise I have ever attempted. I discovered how incredibly lazy the mind is and how clever its methods of resistance can be. Clever as they are, obedience can be assured with practice. Patterns are easily introduced and once disruption provides a viable window of opportunity, patience will inevitably beget assimilation. The experiment has given me this reflection over the cour
se of a week investigation.
I am not content practicing only one third of the curriculum however.
I will continue the experiment in a week. Providing a lexicon for the speech control and emphasis being on the action. My record keeping is atrocious. A true neglect. With the prohibitions in place, inebriation lurking in the hal
ls, and a less than adult configuration by nightfall. That record gets left in promise. Quasi discipline is insincere. An immersion into the experiment reveals the level and condition of the operators machine, but is by no means given amnesty to further detract from the work.
That being said. Methods, rules, and preparation is to be in order for the next phase. Phase two of three. Primary focus on action. Regulation will be set to best fit the trappings of comfort for the operator. Secondarily, the speech will be under sharp scrutiny.
Addressing my progress and commitment to the art:
It appears that living a life with explicit concern to the quality of consciousness allows the sense of inferiority to abscond briefly. Even after it's return, a sense of confidence, strength, and pride seem to reside humbly inside. Just a bit more than I had before. Surefooted I feel inclined to step further into this internal frontier, and Crowley's work seems to be in accordance to my particular nature.
I find it really interesting how certain associated m
aterials over lap and yet idea's remain hostile in their infancy. In particular, I read of how Crowley held Spare in such esteem, yet the individual personalities were not compatible. Yet, there is so much I found amongst both men and their Work that can be harvested and synthesized into my own methods. So, I move along doing just that. Listening attentively, and conveniently aligning myself with the bolder strengths or weakness of both influences. After all, Genesis P. Orridge credits both and has extensively integrated approaches from both men into her work.
I have started reading Arcana V. A collection of essays from various musicians and academics. The essay by William Breeze was amazing. Later I was surprised I was familiar with his work in music. I also discovered he holds position in Ordo Templi Orientis.
His candid way of reducing his own learning difficulties into a solution was readily apparent. He rendered several basic musical models into relevant occult symbolism. Thus creating an amazingly simple visual representation that conveys information to audiences that might find traditional scale explanations difficult to penetrate. My mind is tired and the words are slipping away from elaboration. Time for more rest.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tm77hDVawp0
