self imposed limits.

"Play it!

What'd ya say?

Stand in line
No mistake
Stand in line
Yeah

Try living

Free bird
Tied down
You can't make me
You can fuck off

Die trying
Try flying

Then you'll see
Then you'll hear your name
It's all on your hands
Your fame

Rape. Kill. Faster. Master. Dying
Hope. Love
Why am I still dying?

You can be who you are;

Your voice
It's all on your hands
Your fate

Rape. Kill. Faster. Master. Dying
Hope. Love
Why am I still dying?

I feel totally out of control
I feel like I wanna do something bad
I can't stop myself from hurting
All of life's shit makes me mad
Nowhere to live
No one to love
My empty hands hurt -
It's cracked; my face is raw

Victim
Victim
Cut out my eyes
Don't be so desperate
It shows in your smile...

Satan"

 So the Priestess picked up the enneagram book and it turns out I am a Four with a Five wing. Desire and Hate. I need new tags now. Finishing track fifteen of twenty-two. Lots of baritone and not much programming. need microphone set up. working on painting. staying creative. its a better headspace for me. staying in touch with allies. getting gifts as an expression of love. learning the five love languages for the dimension of Netzach - Love. 

Celebrated my friends birthday instead of Veteran's Day. 

Abandonment

You can't Love this. It isn't worthy of your love. 

It can go to the Asylum of the Loveless. 

It is not finished hating itself. It can feel a wound has developed but will not heal. 

Self Sabotaged mutilation manipulation keeps going in circles around its shit littered cage. 

Exhausted, it lashes out at everyone and everything. It cannot be loved. 

Now it has been given a mirror. It can reflect. Hold the truth before its eyes. 

It is loved. It has a name. 

There's nothing wrong
With what you do and what you say
There's nothing wrong
Pure will will get you through

Why can't you see you're in my way?
Your ways are killing you

Do what thou wilt
Shall be the whole of the law
Do what thou wilt

All they understand is the claw
Why can't you see you're in my way?
Your ways are killing you
Your ways are killing me
Killing me
Killing you

So go fuck yourself anyway
Keep this hunger

There's nothing wrong
With how I live my life today
There's nothing wrong
So go fuck yourself anyway

Why can't you see you're in my way?

A babbler and dabbler

Dog tags arrived. so did the dice. reading materials have started coming in.  I have some interest in painting again. Creating a hypersigil of some sort. Incorporating words and poetry.  My writing project is still on hold at the moment but I consulted the runes and was promised possessions to facilitate the work. My album is still awaiting me to finish tracking which I intend on doing. 

I found an article a while back on a thelemic site advertising a product that you could use instead of customary slices on the arm for liber jugorum. The product was callled a Pavlok and administers a shock to the wrist of the wearer. Aversion therapy at your finger tips. If you derive some sick pleasure from the administration of cuts in liber jugorum, you are not benefiting from the practice. As was the case for me and another Thelemite I witnessed. The shock from the Pavlok is something different in terms of stimulation and I have found it quite useful when used in conjunction with liber jugorum. 

Clean up your script. Monitor,subtract, and replace with better programming. 

The majority of technical Libers for Thelema are generally found online. Those and Psychonaut by Carrol are excellent guides to magick. Gems of the Equinox is a good collection for beginners. 

The New Aeon versus the Kali Yuga. They go hand in hand describing the conditions of civilization at this period in time. The Kali Yuga is part of a Dead Current however, and The New Aeon takes precedence. The counsel of the Seers and the perspective to take in advancement. The Lunar Yonic Traditions versus Solar-phallic Creationism. They go hand in hand also.  

Lord of Illusions by Clive Barker is on the way. I am the magician and the exorcist. There is a course on Feeding Your Demons in March of next year. Something to look forward to. I am booking a craniosacral therapy appointment with a friend of mine. I have begun S.R.T. audio files. Dream recall picking up. Liber Astarte: Shemyaza. 

NUIT

SHEMYAZA

THE GOETIA

 BABALON

Akathisia

 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Process_(collective)

Beyond pain is bliss. 

Five prayers a day, smoke them if you got em. The Dyadic cyclone. 3:33. 

 13 dice=78 cards. 33 grades. 22 major arcana+ 10 Sephira.  

distancing and boundaries. bite it you scum.