Do not bury your head in your hands. Nothing is permanent. even tattoos are an illusion.
Change perspective: S.M.I.2L.E.= A Term coined by Timothy Leary:
S.M.I2.LE. ^× Space Migration, Intelligence Increase
and Life Extension.
Change behavior: LAUGH.
"Consider laughter: it is the highest emotion, for it can contain any of the others from ecstasy to grief. It has no opposite. Crying is merely an underdeveloped form of it which cleanses the eyes and summons assistance to infants. Laughter is the only tenable attitude in a universe which is a joke played upon itself.
The trick is to see that joke played out even in the neutral and ghastly events which surround one. It is not for us to question the universe's apparent lack of taste. Seek the emotion of laughter at what delights and amuses, seek it in whatever is neutral or meaningless, seek it even in what is horrific and revolting. Though it may be forced at first, one can learn to smile inwardly at all things."
Peter J. Carroll, Liber Null & Psychonaut (Red Wheel/Weiser pg17)
Dr. Kataria told his trainees that laughter yoga “is based upon the scientific fact that, even if you laugh for the sake of laughing, even if you are pretend laughing, your body cannot tell the difference.”
Traditional absurdists usually reject both physical and philosophical suicide as the recommended response to the absurd, usually with the argument that both these responses constitute some form of escape that fails to face the absurd for what it is. Despite the gravity and inevitability of the absurd, they recommend that we should face it directly, i.e. not escape from it by retreating into the illusion of false hope or by ending one's life.
“Camusian Absurdism”-Advancing a message of lucidity, resilience and emancipation in the face of the absurdity of life, it encourages people to create their own meanings through personal choices and commitments, and to embrace their freedom to the fullest. Because he affirms that, even in the absurd, there is room for passion and rebellion; and although the Universe may be indifferent to our search for meaning, this search is in itself meaningful.
"Laughter is the only tenable attitude in a universe which is a joke played on itself." ~ Peter J. Carroll
“Journey to Ixtlan”
“I am going to teach you how to set up dreaming.”
“You must start by doing something very simple,” he said. “Tonight in your dreams you must look at your hands.” I laughed out loud. His tone was so factual that it was as if he were telling me to do something commonplace. “Why do you laugh?” he asked with surprise. “How can I look at my hands in my dreams?”..
“Very simple, focus your eyes on them just like this.” He bent his head forward and stared at his hands with his mouth open. His gesture was so comical that I had to laugh. “Seriously, how can you expect me to do that?” I asked “The way I’ve told you,” he snapped. “You can, of course, look at whatever you goddamn please…
…I asked him to give me some pointers. “There aren’t any pointers,” he said. “Just look at your hands.”
“When they begin to change shape you must move your sight away from them and pick something else, and then look at your hands again. It takes a long time to perfect this technique.”
Saturn's Day: Looking on one tab an i ching alternative, another tab chod damaru drums, then read this on a seemingly unrelated web page in my browser: "In the sewers, Bill performs the "Ritual of Chüd" in an attempt to face It in the Macroverse, the alternate universe where It is from, where he meets the monster's antithesis, Maturin, an ancient turtle that created the universe."
Something interesting I picked up on: Each week I begin activities of the following week early. As if anticipating what comes next. For instance at the end of a C6 weekend I started C7 designs. At the end of C7 work I started C8 designs. (zine)
also, C4 task #1 ritual: Make a new friend: A. M.
C4 Task #1:
1. Creativity.
2. Intelligence
3. Optimism 4. Sense of humor (Laughter Yogi lol)
This song started off my week of work in the 8CB. Spartan boys lied, cheated, and stole and got rewarded for it. Beaten if caught. Boyhood psychology. Don't write a check your spirit can't cash.
Detached manipulator/Psychopath
Hypersigil notes:
Autodidact
Absurd objectivist laughter yogi?
Writing assignment #1
C4 Attraction criteria checklist:
1. Intelligence
2. Self Expression
3. Courage
4. Able to achieve orgasm with or without a partner
5. Nurturing
Writing assignment #2:
C8 out of body experiences:
Around sixteen years of age, I experienced an out of body situation. After being in my room alone listening to music, I suddenly found myself in another area. My body was on its back laying on some sort of table or surface. A bright light poured over me from above. To my left and right sides, two beings stood looking down at me. All appeared mono-scale. The faces of the beings seemed masked, obscuring any facial features but large dark eye areas. I tried to move but only my head could tilt. Down at my toes I could see hundreds of black and yellow banana spiders crawling from feet upward. I felt fear and panic but this only resulted in me regaining consciousness in my current body here on Earth. I woke up in a hospital bed with my mother sitting next to me and my father just coming into the curtained room. As for what they reported happened to me, I leave that in the charts of Patient "X".
Conclusion shared: "The Black Rite
This rite consists of the forceful entry of a spirit into the body of
an already inhabited being. It is both dangerous and unreliable and used only in certain peculiar and desperate situations. It
will sometimes result in there being a double life force in one
body, if the invading spirit fails to displace the occupant. In
this case the victim will seem to have gone mad. In any case
the memory of the taken-over being remains, and the
invading-being will have to work through this. Of this rite I
have been advised to say no more. . . ."
Living Without a Self Image
It went ok until I tried telling a story about Grandpa and using a wrench to loosen a hose outside. The exterminator, Michael, told me "wrong way". I turned the other direction like he commented loosening the hose. Water started pouring out the top of the hose onto my footwear. It looked good to appear without an image after reading that section in the book.
Noise Unit "Æ"
almost complete. This morning: Raymond Watts and PIG----}Schwein---}Beefcake koba---}organzola. This afternoon: The thought that every musician should own a noise unit. The I thought, maybe Noise Unit a band I heard about. = Rhys and Bill from FLA. Last album featuring Raymond Watts. Noise Unit.
The Dirty signal for my baritone lacks a single pedal for album completion. A Zvex Machine.
Mechnical Guilt vs. Spontaneous Guilt.
LDRSHIP External vs. LDRSHIP Internal
1.)Create a community project: The Black Lodge 237 IMM ICS
2.)Befriend highly social types:
3.) Explore Social or "folk" art:
Tagging, monikers, graffiti, geocaching, letterboxing, urban exploration or U.E., photography, video art, and other social art attracts my interest. Folk Music: Master Musicians of Jajouka and Alash Ensemble Tuvan Throat Singing.
4.) Research topographical origins of culture: Jailhouse rock/ 52 blocks. Berimbau capoeira. Afrikan diaspora. Slave martial arts.
5.)Initiate an Artists' Organization: The OMM Cult. One Man Metal.
6.) Confess your depth by becoming deep enough to be shallow: Play games like a child. Watch Gameshows.
7.) Go to more parties
Woke up thinking of being in a light place. White Void. Bill Rieflin synchronicity. An order contacted me today. Socio-Circuit. 4 and card 8= white.
For this week I will avoid mirrors like a C-3 Vampire. My Dad arrived in town on Monday. Word Virus indeed. This week, fittingly, I pulled the novel Rant off the shelf for K. I got the nickname "The Voice" in my younger years due to the fact I would rant and rave about things sometimes. At age thirteen, I read A Clockwork Orange and made a list of NADSAT words and their english counterparts in a journal.
Talking-Fast: "☿" over all score = 7
1. "oh yeah" to myself
2. Divination Invocation to myself
3. "Thank you" to myself after divination
4. "Ow" when pinched by K
5. "NAD" when typing NADSAT
6. "Nope." to Grandpa Hays during walk
7. Read "I.C." from ICS book
Read C-3 and C-7 chapters from Angel Tech. C-7 chapter goes into Synchronicity, Alchemy, and Astrology. I use the Alphabet of Desire for alchemy and instead of Astrology, I prefer the Enneagram and Enochian Magick. Which leads me to: Synchronicity:
A few weekends back I channeled the seventh circuit on the seventh day of the week. A Theist that uses Atheist Magick struck into my mind. The paradox seems pleasing to me. I searched through my library of books on Enochian magick. Aeythrs and the Morphogenetic field came to mind. Then after reading the books, the thought came up about C-7 Archetypes and suddenly the 18 Calls at the end of the Satanic Bible by Anton Lavey came into the picture. I added that book to the pile and began reading. Archetypes and crystal formation came together.
"Most regions of the brain had five million magnetite crystals per gram of tissue. The tough membrane that covers the brain had 100 million crystals per gram. Each human brain on average contains seven billion particles of magnetite, weighing a total of one-millionth of an ounce.May 12, 1992"
Past lives came into question and future self hypersigils. The Qliphoth or better sounding Qlipoth and the Enochian Angels.
When I channeled the signal transmitting "The 19 keys in The Satanic Bible" I got some interesting results. I found this on reddit:
LaVey took this work from “Liber vel Chanokh,” written by Crowley. It originally was used by the Hermetic Order of the Golden Dawn, who took the contents from the manuscripts from the British Library.
The actual use of the Enochian Keys, is as follows. LaVey styled them to his own whim, which has nothing to do with the original meanings, or uses of the keys themselves. I mean no disparagement of LaVey, as I knew him personally, and was his secretary for a short time, when I worked for Feral House Press, and the late, Adam Parfrey, years ago. Here is the list:
First key (for power): Baptism (The Satanic Rituals) Real Use: It is associated with the opening of the Tablet of Union.Second key (for lust and weddings): Wedding (1967 wedding, see above, and "Das Tierdrama" in The Satanic Rituals)
Second key (for lust and weddings): Wedding (1967 wedding, see above, and "Das Tierdrama" in The Satanic Rituals) Real Use: Also associated with the opening of the Tablet of Union.
Third key (for power): "Homage to Tschort" (The Satanic Rituals) Real Use: To invoke the Seniors of Air, on the Air Tablet or Sub-angle, Air of Air.
Fourth key: Unknown purpose and use Real Use: To invoke the Seniors of Water, on the Water Tablet or Sub-angle, Water of Water.
Fifth key (for traditional black mass): "The Satanic Mass" (The Satanic Rituals) Real Use: To invoke the Seniors of Earth, on the Earth Tablet or Sub-angle, Earth of Earth.
Sixth key (unknown purpose): "Die Elektrischen Vorspiele" (The Satanic Rituals) Real Use: To invoke the Seniors of Fire, on the Fire Tablet or Sub-angle, Fire of Fire.
Seventh key (for lust and weddings): Conjuration of Lust (as performed by LaVey on the The Satanic Mass recording, 1968) Real Use: To invoke the Angels of the Water Sub-Angle, of the Air Tablet.
Eighth key (for power): Unknown use Real Use: To invoke the Angels of the Earth sub-angle of the Air Tablet.
Ninth key: Unknown purpose and use Real Use: To invoke the Angels of the Fire sub-angle of the Air Tablet.
Tenth key: Unknown purpose and use Real Use: To invoke the Angels of the Air sub-angle of the Water Tablet.
Eleventh key (for funerals): Unknown use Real Use: To invoke the Angels of the Earth sub-angle of the Water Tablet.
Twelfth key (for vengeance and destruction): "L'Air Epais" (The Satanic Rituals) Real Use: To invoke the Angels of the Fire sub-angle of the Water Tablet.
Thirteenth key (for lust and weddings): "L'Air Epais" (The Satanic Rituals) Real Use: To invoke the Angels of the Air sub-angle of the Earth Tablet.
Fourteenth key (for vengeance and destruction): Conjuration of Destruction (as performed by LaVey on the The Satanic Mass recording, 1968)** Real Use: To invoke the Angels of the Water sub-angle of the Earth Tablet.
Fifteenth key (for traditional black mass): Unknown use Real Use: To invoke the Angels of the Fire sub-angle of the Earth Tablet.
Sixteenth key (for compassion): Unknown use Real Use: To invoke the Angels of the Air sub-angle of the Fire Tablet.
Seventeenth key (for vengeance and destruction): Unknown use Real Use: To invoke the Angels of the Water sub-angle of the Fire Tablet.
Eighteenth key (for compassion, pride, and rejoicing): "The Ceremony of the Avoosal" (Unpublished) Real Use: To invoke the Angels of the Earth sub-angle of the Fire Tablet.
Nineteenth key: Unknown purpose and use Real Use: The Nineteenth Call, or Key of the Thirty Æthyrs, is the only call necessary for workings with the Æthyrs. It is only necessary to change the name of the Æthyr itself near the beginning of the Call.
I hope this brings some light to the information. I am a Göetic practitioner, as well as a fluent speaker of the Enochian language. I present this information, as it stems from the original Enochian manuscripts. Blessings, ~V~
"The "angels" reffered to in Kelly's first revelation of the Enochian Keys, obtained through the windows of the crystal, are only "angels" because occultists to this dayhave lain ill with metaphysical constipation.Now the crystal clears, and the "angels" are seen as "angles" and the windows to the fourth dimension are thrown open-and to the frightened, the Gates of Hell."
Note the reference to the fourth dimension.
A theist using atheist magick. Magick as in Crowley. I remember what the Guru said regarding barberous names and words in one of His books: "the most potent conjurations are those in an ancient and perhaps forgotten language, or even those couched in a corrupt and possibly meaningless jargon." Meaninglessness plays an important role in Chaos Magick. I read through and decided to use Lavey's Calls in my future operations.
"White magic is supposedly utilized only for good or unselfish purposes, and black magic, we are told, is used only for selfish or "evil" reasons. Satanism draws no such dividing line. Magic is magic, be it used to help or hinder. The Satanist, being the magician, should have the ability to decide what is just, and then apply the powers of magic to attain his goals.
Anton LaVey"
My mind went to ritual equipment and after finding this book in my library, I also remembered that I possess the Westcott tables by the Cicero's. After buying the tablets years ago, my mind settled on these tablets for use. Thank you Sandra Tabatha Cicero. But how would I use them.
I can't tell if I like this book or not. I learned quite a lot from it though. For instance: I considered using the 91 locations on the globe for remote viewing C-6 operations. The planetary Sigil Dei Aemeth feels practical for use to me also. It also contains some useful material regarding the aethyrs and the tree of life.
I randomly typed in some search criteria to see if a book existed and it does. I ordered this and find myself currently reading it. In the book a chapter on Genesis finds itself discussed. A day later I find this : "Antero came to redefine death as "Genesis" - a new beginning, a portal into the next chapter of his journey. Our beloved Antero transcended into Genesis yesterday around 12:45pm at home in Portland, Oregon. In his words, "Honestly, I'm not one to mourn over but to celebrate..."
Arto Antero Alexander Alli
11/11/1952 - 11/9/2023"
I found myself bound to the Talkfast c-3 activity but desperately wanted to say a prayer for him. Thank you Antero, and thank you for signing my book.
AS described on Amazon: "An analysis of the alchemy of the soul through the night of senses through the application of practical kabbalah, hermetic philosophy and enochian magic through a comparative study of the self in Saint John of the Cross' DARK NIGHT OF THE SOUL and Kenneth Grant's NIGHTSIDE OF EDEN"
I want to get and read this, along with the previous text, before the Thelemic Holy Season. Which starts soon.
Notes for "♃": Today I thought I would engage some C-7 with Enneagram study instead of Astrology. I came across my book and flipped right open to the eighteen subtypes of the enneagram. 18 cards total the amount ordered for my Neuro-Tarot last week. Eighteen cards comprise an order at the tarot printers. Eighteen Calls comprise the total amount, leaving out one of the calls to the tablet of union.
This book strikes me with a feel of weird. In it they introduce "Cube magick" as I call it. Which indicated my work with the qliphoth and my cube on my altar. Lamentation configuration. They also discuss a tablet of Chaos in contrast to the tablet of union. They also mention sex as a tool used in Enochian Work.
I read Enochian Sex Magick by DuQuette and Dr. Hyatt. It dawned on me that I need to share this with my partner who remains interested in the AEthyrs also.
Around noon, I recieved a signal that I should look at my shelves again and check out Tetragrammaton by Donald Tyson. I flip it open to a marked page this time. The page lists the zodiac. I thought for sure earlier that i would not find astrology interesting and would need to abandon and replace with Enneagram only. Now My attention finds direction in the 24 symbols on another page and the 24 runes I studied yesterday while looking into northern starcraft timing for the Temple.
C-7 Ritual #1 Bump Consciousness:
"♃" throat singing style learned : Sygyt, which is Sky and Earth combined.
Today a storm lurks on the horizon.
Today I use the voice and pass a test.
"The Voice"
In the woods...
Time=
17:15-17:34
weather= drizzle a little.
Thunder.
Sunlight.
Wore Satanic Rain Jacket. Exposed head.
Sober but coffeed.
No form.
Began parasympathetic breathing and pacing.
Began buzzing lips. Starred at widow maker nearby.
Began vocal scan. Thought: I sound like a tornado siren.
Began with "hey" and absorbed environment.
Still pacing.
Began "a to o" while looking at decaying wood and rocks scattered among the wet leaves.
Began "Eee" and felt present. Thought: I sound like a t.v. blank screen.
Began singing while standing still, feeling the energy rise. Arms held out in reception.
Thought: Be still and stand like Michael Myers in Halloween movies
Felt invigorated and dense.
C-3 Task #1: E-Prime Writing (starting with this blog/Lab Report)
C-3 Task #2: Defining Unsanity/Sanity/Insanity
"
Dr. Owen Fletcher: Kathryn, you're a rational person. You're a trained psychiatrist. You know the difference between what's real and what's not.
Dr. Kathryn Railly: And what we say is the truth is what everybody accepts. Right, Owen? I mean, psychiatry: it's the latest religion. We decide what's right and wrong. We decide who's crazy or not. I'm in trouble here. I'm losing my faith.
"
Pronoid not paranoid. Able to use scientific method and "paranoiac-critical method" developed by Dali."Dalí described the paranoiac-critical method as a "spontaneous method of irrational knowledge based on the critical and systematic objectivity of the associations and interpretations of delirious phenomena"" Also Rimbaud's Derangement of the senses. Concerned with self preservation, life extension, and survival beyond bodily Death. Creative. Generative. Hilaritas. Scarecrow's Fear serum doesn't work on The Joker.
"
James Cole : This is a place for crazy people. I'm not crazy.
James Cole : Well, you've got some real nuts here.
"
Neither Pronoid nor Paranoid. Could take it or leave it, not concerned with self growth nor death. Concerned with consumption. Unimaginative sheeple going with the flow. Consumer. Feeble minded and Noble animals that Atheistic Satanists talk about.
"
There's the television. It's all right there — all right there. Look, listen, kneel, pray. Commercials! We're not productive anymore. We don't make things anymore. It's all automated. What are we for then? We're consumers. Yeah. Okay, okay. Buy a lot of stuff, you're a good citizen. But if you don't buy a lot of stuff, if you don't, what are you then, I ask you? What? Mentally ill. Fact, Jim, fact — if you don't buy things: toilet paper, new cars, computerized yo-yos, electrically-operated sexual devices, stereo systems with brain-implanted headphones, screwdrivers with miniature built-in radar devices, voice-activated computers... Goines
"
Obsessed with annhilating the liberties of self and/or others the insane person holds the vantage point of the megalomaniac. As the center of the universe things start looking very serious for the user. Paranoid. Derangement of the senses turns to abuse and repression. control junkie. desperate.
C-3 Task #3: Disappearing Monkey Act Meditation-"♂" Tuesday morning I stayed in bed practicing this exercise. I usually wake up with a song in my head and this morning the song stopped during the meditation. Like an interruption. Very interesting. In fact, the earworm found releasement altogether. No recollection as to what song played this morning.
"INTERVIEWER: In Nova Express you indicate that silence is a
desirable state.
BURROUGHS: The most desirable state. In one sense a special
use of words and pictures can conduce silence. The scrapbooks
and time travel are exercises to expand consciousness, to teach me
to think in association blocks rather than words. I've recently spent
a little time studying hieroglyph systems, both the Egyptian and
the Mayan. A whole block of associations—boonf!—like that!
Words—at least the way we use them—can stand in the way of
what I call nonbody experience. It's time we thought about leaving the body behind...
INTERVIEWER: Have you been able to think for any length of
time in images, with the inner voice silent?
BURROUGHS : I'm becoming more proficient at it, partly through
my work with scrapbooks and translating the connections between
words and images. Try this: Carefully memorize the meaning of
a passage, then read it; you'll find you can actually read it without the words' making any sound whatever in the mind's ear.
Extraordinary experience, and one that will carry over into
dreams. When you start thinking in images, without words, you're
well on the way.
INTERVIEWER: Why is the wordless state so desirable?
BURROUGHS: I think it's the evolutionary trend. I think that words are an around-the-world, ox-cart way of doing things,
awkward instruments, and they will be laid aside eventually,
probably sooner than we think. This is something that will happen in the space age. Most serious writers refuse to make themselves available to the things that technology is doing. I've never
been able to understand this sort of fear. Many of them are afraid
of tape recorders and the idea of using any mechanical means
for literary purposes seems to them some sort of a sacrilege. This
is one objection to the cut-ups. There's been a lot of that, a sort
of superstitious reverence for the word. My God, they say, you
can't cut up these words. Why can't I? I find it much easier to
get interest in the cut-ups from people who are not writers—
doctors, lawyers, or engineers, any open-minded, fairly intelligent
person—than from those who are."
"14. You and Brion have described your collaborations over the years as the products of a "third mind." What's the source of this concept? BURROUGHS: A book called Think and Grow Rich. GYSIN: It says that when you put two minds together. . . BURROUGHS: . . . there is always a third mind .. . GYSIN : . . . a third and superior mind . . . BURROUGHS: .. . as an unseen collaborator. GYSIN: That is where we picked up the title. Our book The Third Mind is about all the cut-up materials. The book is a statement, in words and pictures, of what the two of you have achieved through your collaborations? BURROUGHS: Yes, exactly that, from the very first cut-ups through elaboration into scrapbook layouts, cut texts and images."
This convinces me that I need to build a C-2 STATUS scrapbook. During the Emotional territorial week I found my identity in crisis along with my STATUS. I established self definition of Artist. The Enneagram chooses the label "The Bohemian". This scrapbook will contain career certifications, educational diplomas, artwork, writings, photographs, and other evidence of growth, development, and accomplishments. I just learned this type of book is also called a dream or vision board. Some prefer action board. In honor of Burroughs, Gysin, and the Dream-machine, I call mine The Dream-Vision Scrapbook. Now I need a Dymo 1570 vintage model embossing device. My hypersigil project would benefit from this too.
C-7 Ritual #2 Anima Shrine: "♀"
21:17-22:17
Warm up: Litanies of Satan by Diamanda Galas
No Form Intro: Tales From the Darkside Intro
Invitation: Sin Nanna by Sunn o)))
Immersion: Ageless Beauty by Order of the Gash
Extraction: Blood, Milk, and Sky by White Zombie
No Form outro: Twilight Zone 1980's Theme
Setting: Indoors. Inititally going to be outside but changed my mind for privacy reasons.
Polarity: Creator/Destroyer
Warm up started with overtone throat singing warm up. Began pacing to activate the body; going from polarity sides. The track I picked was awesome. I ended the warm up by clapping accupressure.
The first No Form lasted a minute. I settled in and shifted into void outside the polarity region.
Next came the invitation for The Anima. Sin nanna is the Godess of the Moon. Holding my steady still position, I raised my arms openly and began the invocation out loud. The petition came from the heart and felt meaningful.
Immersion started with resuming pacing polarity catwalk while singing in lunar vocalization style. I felt the urge come over me to pus my voice and utter innanities as well as portions of the Satanic Banishing Ritual. Thought:" Man/Woman/Solar Phallic/ Lunar Yonic". "Projection" and "taking in" also came into my mind.
Extraction began with a favorite song of mine. At first I tried the solar vocalization but felt it seemed inappropriate. Silence would fit better. Along with speaking to The Anima I gently settled down.
Outro No Form came after that to the soundtrack of the 1950's Twilight Zone. Remaining stationary I stood in the void for a minute.
I woke up in the morning thinking about doing this ritual. Later that morning I got an email stating that my shrine picture wouldn't be delivered today. I considered canceling the ritual briefly before committing to it anyway.
At 11 a.m. my Aunt Jo and my Dad came over to visit. Before they arrived my anxiety increased regarding their presence. The thought occured to me that allow them to come over consisted of an internal shock so perhaps I should laugh it off. I began laughing and felt better. The visit went well due to me not taking things seriously and laughing gently at uncomfortable moments. While in the company of two other Rogers' my awarness of "The Voice" and the talkative nature of my relatives seemed like a C-7 indication. They also brought me a C-7 souvenir: my Grandfather's ashtray he made:
The label on the ashtray, made out of embossing tape. Something my interest brought up earlier in the week. Ed Rogers wrote me my first letter during my infancy welcoming me into the world and giving me Astrological information. C-7 information. C-7 seems fitting for ancestral veneration also. Another message came into my inbox stating that the shrine image would find delivery today after all.
I started downloading the songs for the ritual in the afternoon and tried to transfer them to SD cards which I jammed into my audio player, ruining the device. I didn't want to do the ritual without the soundtrack and the only way to do it now meant using the laptop. It meant the ritual would commence indoors. I waited until the kids went to bed and did my laughter yoga first. I covered the mirror in the bedroom where the operation took place. I forgot to light incense incense during the ritual so I lit some afterward, before bed. Amber scent: a name for one of my muses. My partner left town in the morning which means that I could use the bed tonight alone. The last day for the Goetic Spirit "Persuasion".
Music:
Polarization:
Creator/Destroyer
"♄"
"Parsons identified four obstacles that prevented humans from achieving and performing their True Will, all of which he connected with fear: the fear of incompetence, the fear of the opinion of others, the fear of hurting others, and the fear of insecurity. He insisted that these must be overcome, writing that "The Will must be freed of its fetters. The ruthless examination and destruction of taboos, complexes, frustrations, dislikes, fears and disgusts hostile to the Will is essential to progress.""
The Equinox of the Gods begins on March 21st. The same day as the Goetic New Year.
This sets the calendric for the Temple.
Today: "☉︎ in 26° ♓︎ : ☽︎ in 22° ♊︎ : ♄︎ : Ⅴⅰⅹ"
"These archetypal forces make up the very projections that run willy nilly in the Courtship Compulsion. When face of their own terms these projections can be traced back to their true spiritual origins in the archtypes, rather than imposed on our lovers, granting us the critical perspective to begin perceiving others beyond our fantasies about them ( also see "the anima/animus shrine" WEEK FOUR"-8CB page 73 on The Emotional/Territorial Week
"☉︎"
Looked at the mirror twice. K came back. Zine started.
According to Camus there is Suicide, leap of faith, or recognition.
"Lastly, a person can choose to embrace the absurd condition. According to Camus, one's freedom—and the opportunity to give life meaning—lies in the recognition of absurdity. If the absurd experience is truly the realization that the universe is fundamentally devoid of absolutes, then we as individuals are truly free."
continued..."The freedom of man is thus established in one's natural ability and opportunity to create their own meaning and purpose; to decide (or think) for oneself. The individual becomes the most precious unit of existence, representing a set of unique ideals that can be characterized as an entire universe in its own right. In acknowledging the absurdity of seeking any inherent meaning, but continuing this search regardless, one can be happy, gradually developing meaning from the search alone."
Fear Mor Liath=Fear More Laugh
It is a meaningless game. While the Gods Play. Tragedy or Comedy? The Hero's Journey imparts Order to Chaos.
"Nothing is True, Everything is permitted." -I saw this quote on the cd cover of terrifyer by pig destroyer and had a synchronicity moment.
Week Three Circuits 2 and 6 was challenging. The Goetic Spirit was Illusion. My Status went extremely small. It was intense. I had to use the C-1 Self Commitment Statement:
"No matter how afraid, embarrassed, or threatened you feel, I will not abandon you. I will protect you. I have your back. I am here for you"
(I have noticed now that each week of 8CB work builds on itself)
After waking up miserable during the week, I realized I had been irritable in the morning my whole life. I have been practicing laughter yoga in the morning as soon as I get up. It is working wonders. Infact, at a particular vulnerable point in the week, I decided to take a shower since it makes me feel better. I laugh in the shower as a practice to and upon leaving, I noticed how my mood had shifted. I also started ultradian solar charging in the mornings sometimes. Thanks to K.
I also did a sigil according to methods suggested in Psychonaut and Thee TOPY Grey Book. Low magick indeed. I used the low point in mood to channel some magick. Results in under 24 hours.
Goetic Spirit : Motion. Friday I started Circuit 6 work and chose to start the Design your own Neuro-Tarot deck. The activity took three solid days of enjoyment. 10 Neuro-Tarot and 8 Biological Tidal Cards. 18 total.
