starlight

 Past lives. Photons. Kether. Ego-Death. Bardos. Altered States of Consciousness. Traveling space. Looking for an assignment. 

Currently reading Control Theory by Glasser. Just finshed reading Michael Talbot's book on Past Lives. I tried one of the techniques and it worked. Talbot mentions that when you do make contact more will come up sometimes rapidly. That was what transpired with me. I have always suspected reincarnation as an answer to many questions but it was this book that got me on board with a firm conviction. Been here done that came to mind last night when falling asleep. The responsibility of owning not one but the reverberant echoes of many lives in the past explains many of my living motivations.  In the film Dark City a Doctor concocts a syringe of liquid that contains the memories of the unknowing patients future mind. Each night they are reset and experimented on. The concoction of personality details is something running through my veins. Traditions ghost walks my path. 

"Be sober, be vigilant, because your adversary the devil walketh about as a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour."

1 peter 5:8

They make warnings about The Devil. Self reflection is his gift to those that will use it and stare into the abyss. "Whoever fights monsters should see to it that in the process he does not become a monster. And if you gaze long enough into an abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you.

Friedrich Nietzsche"

There is a phrase called navel gazing for too intense of internal speculation. Another excuse not to look within for all the things you hate. Some of these hates have been going on for lifetimes. The universe feeds you clues all the while for you to become conscious of it and the odds that you will recognize it and act are not good. Yet those who wage on this side of the game win big if they are right. 

Every man and every woman is a star. You are a being of light. No matter your predilection for the Dark. The game was initiated by the light and is the source of its programming. To choose a side in this game is to serve the Light or the Dark. Some walk the path of both. The Grey Man is united in Adam Qadmon and can articulate as Lord of the Four Quarters. The concept of the Grey Man was introduced to me by a Special Forces soldier. The Four Quarters are represented by the Four Archetypes : King, Warrior, Magician, and Lover. According to Toni Wolff, the feminine archetypes are :

"

• Mother (and spouse),Queen
• Amazon,Warrior
• Hetaira (companion, lover, wife, friend),
• Medial woman, priestess.

"

NUIT is freckled with light emitting constellations. In the night these patterns represent more than that. Secrets are kept amid the Heavens and there are those who will be shown the way, but only a few. It is the time of the Night Sky and we are photons moving in space. 

Starlight is best. Focus on starlight illuminating from your feet and slowly moving up, brightening your body cavities, until it finally arrives at your head. From there, imagine bright warm starlight coming down from the center top of the head and moving into the body from this point. When it reaches the center or your core, it touches like an arc and the internal light is spiraling. Waves of healing energy will pulsate through you. As you continue to breathe it is like wind on a fire and results in more radiation. Psycho-holic slag is turning white hot and coming off in fragments and slowly burning offf on the edges of your body cavities. 

Welcome to planet Motherfucker. 

Psychic Test 647

Tonya Horak Sept. 11, 1982-Jan. 26 2023

 Dark force entities actively influence the lives of the living. Often offering courses of action that might harm oneself and others. They thrive on self destructive behaviors and encourage negative rumination. These entities stalk and attach to the living in order to absorb the light of human beings. Spiritual releasement and Chod are two methods used to get rid of these harmful influences. A lifestyle change is sometimes also necessary.  

I was best friends with Tonya in 3rd and 4th grade. We would walk home from school together and watch the same movie over and over again: The Silence of the Lambs. Not a surprise that She would take up psychology in college. Thank you Tonya for your friendship and kindness. It got me through some early hard times. 

My friend online changed his handle to avoid a stalker and the name was Thomas Carey. He messaged me online with the new name.  He gave no explaination of the name but it seemed somehow familiar. I changed tabs on the computer and realized a book i was interested in was authored by thomas carey. I took the nod from the universe and ordered the book. 

 

Psychic Test 345

Exhibit A:

"August 13, 1981 – April 27, 2021

Kenneth “Kenny” Wayne Henson, 39, of Denham Springs, LA, passed away Tuesday, April 27, 2021. Kenny loved to play music and be around his family and friends. He loved to laugh and make those around him laugh and have a good time. Kenny was a loving father, grandfather, son, brother and friend and is already dearly missed by all who knew him. Kenny is survived by his daughters, Savannah and Kayla Henson and their mother, Renee Fuller; granddaughter, Paisley Henson; mother, Patricia Henson; father, David Henson; brother, Chris Henson; sister, Courtney Henson; maternal grandmother, Margaret Jones; paternal grandfather, Kenneth Henson; nieces, Amaly, Addaly, and Analise Barraza; numerous aunts, uncles, cousins and an uncountable number of friends, including his close and dear friend, Jennifer Gibbs and her son, Dakota. He was preceded in death by his paternal grandmother, Gloria Henson; maternal grandfather, Daniel Jones; great grandmother, Mable Ellison; and aunt, Zelma Laverne. We miss you, but know you are still with us, Fly High Kenny!!"

"Denham Springs, LA (May 1, 2021) – One man has lost his life following a motor vehicle accident in Denham Springs late Tuesday evening. On April 27, emergency crews were called to the site of a crash on Summer Street.

According to reports, Kenneth Henson was walking west near the tracks on Summer Street when he was struck by a train that was traveling east at approximately 36 miles per hour.

Henson sustained fatal injuries as a result of this accident and was declared deceased at the scene. Police and firefighters secured the area to initiate investigations. At this time, investigations are ongoing.

Our thoughts are with the victims who were injured in this accident. We hope for their full recovery.

We would like to offer our deepest condolences to the family of Kenneth Henson. Our thoughts are with them at this time."

Exhibit B:

RESHOUN MATTHEWS

Wed, 2015-10-21 13:20 Heather Bogard

Funeral services will be held for Reshoun Matthews, 32, of Ville Platte, at the Owens-Thomas Funeral Home Chapel in Ville Platte at 11 a.m., Saturday, October 24. Visitation will be held from 8:30 a.m. until 10:30 a.m. prior to the service.
Mr. Matthews died Sunday, October 18, 2015, at Opelousas General Hospital.
Survivors include his mother, Khadeja Yidin Gibson of Ville Platte; two daughters, Ymani Matthews of Las Vegas, Nevada, and Denina Mose Matthews of Eunice; four brothers, Larmonte’ Williamson of Gaithersburg, Maryland, William Matthews III of Baton Rouge, Taurean Montero of Washington DC and Tajir Williamson of Houston, Texas; two sisters, Tanaya Yidin of Baton Rouge and Deiodta Haughton of Schenectady, New York.
He was preceded in death by his father, William Matthews Jr.; and his step-father, Carroll T. Gibson Sr.
Bishop Frank will officiate.
Williams Funeral Home of Ville Platte will be in charge of arrangements.

Exhibit C:

"self immolation" acrylic,charcoal,oil, saliva, sand, watercolor, image transfers, and nails plus red thread.
January 2008

Unnamed Veteran friend. 

Exhibit A is my middle school best friend. He had an immense impact on me and I sought him out to say thank you for the years of friendship. I was disturbed by the news of his passing a few days ago. I thought of doing something creative like a painting in honor of him. Then the image of a painting depicting what I perceived came forward in my mind's eye and I recognized it as a painting i had already done years ago: Holographic Identity. That painting is dedicated to Kenneth Henson. 

It just so happens I am studying holographic universe theory

Exhibit B is my Army days best friend. He survived a suicide attempt and lived a short while before succumbing to complications due to his gunshot injury. A mutual friend was disturbed by this painting because she thought it was a portrait of Matthews. Notice the wound on the head of the figure in the painting and Raziel's scar on his forehead.

Exhibit C is a painting channeling the death of a Veteran I had met but cannot recall his name. He discovered I was a painter and gave me one of his paintings. I gave it to Chris Clements because he actually new the guy better than i did. Self immolation was the cause of death.

All three paintings were created before the events transpired. I looked through some of my gallery of paintings and come to find those as some striking events that actually were going to transpire. If the ancient Rishis saw far beyond, what might limit the visions of something further up the road? What of holographic theory?

I love all three of you and thank you for teaching me. 

self imposed limits.

"Play it!

What'd ya say?

Stand in line
No mistake
Stand in line
Yeah

Try living

Free bird
Tied down
You can't make me
You can fuck off

Die trying
Try flying

Then you'll see
Then you'll hear your name
It's all on your hands
Your fame

Rape. Kill. Faster. Master. Dying
Hope. Love
Why am I still dying?

You can be who you are;

Your voice
It's all on your hands
Your fate

Rape. Kill. Faster. Master. Dying
Hope. Love
Why am I still dying?

I feel totally out of control
I feel like I wanna do something bad
I can't stop myself from hurting
All of life's shit makes me mad
Nowhere to live
No one to love
My empty hands hurt -
It's cracked; my face is raw

Victim
Victim
Cut out my eyes
Don't be so desperate
It shows in your smile...

Satan"

 So the Priestess picked up the enneagram book and it turns out I am a Four with a Five wing. Desire and Hate. I need new tags now. Finishing track fifteen of twenty-two. Lots of baritone and not much programming. need microphone set up. working on painting. staying creative. its a better headspace for me. staying in touch with allies. getting gifts as an expression of love. learning the five love languages for the dimension of Netzach - Love. 

Celebrated my friends birthday instead of Veteran's Day. 

Abandonment

You can't Love this. It isn't worthy of your love. 

It can go to the Asylum of the Loveless. 

It is not finished hating itself. It can feel a wound has developed but will not heal. 

Self Sabotaged mutilation manipulation keeps going in circles around its shit littered cage. 

Exhausted, it lashes out at everyone and everything. It cannot be loved. 

Now it has been given a mirror. It can reflect. Hold the truth before its eyes. 

It is loved. It has a name. 

There's nothing wrong
With what you do and what you say
There's nothing wrong
Pure will will get you through

Why can't you see you're in my way?
Your ways are killing you

Do what thou wilt
Shall be the whole of the law
Do what thou wilt

All they understand is the claw
Why can't you see you're in my way?
Your ways are killing you
Your ways are killing me
Killing me
Killing you

So go fuck yourself anyway
Keep this hunger

There's nothing wrong
With how I live my life today
There's nothing wrong
So go fuck yourself anyway

Why can't you see you're in my way?

A babbler and dabbler

Dog tags arrived. so did the dice. reading materials have started coming in.  I have some interest in painting again. Creating a hypersigil of some sort. Incorporating words and poetry.  My writing project is still on hold at the moment but I consulted the runes and was promised possessions to facilitate the work. My album is still awaiting me to finish tracking which I intend on doing. 

I found an article a while back on a thelemic site advertising a product that you could use instead of customary slices on the arm for liber jugorum. The product was callled a Pavlok and administers a shock to the wrist of the wearer. Aversion therapy at your finger tips. If you derive some sick pleasure from the administration of cuts in liber jugorum, you are not benefiting from the practice. As was the case for me and another Thelemite I witnessed. The shock from the Pavlok is something different in terms of stimulation and I have found it quite useful when used in conjunction with liber jugorum. 

Clean up your script. Monitor,subtract, and replace with better programming. 

The majority of technical Libers for Thelema are generally found online. Those and Psychonaut by Carrol are excellent guides to magick. Gems of the Equinox is a good collection for beginners. 

The New Aeon versus the Kali Yuga. They go hand in hand describing the conditions of civilization at this period in time. The Kali Yuga is part of a Dead Current however, and The New Aeon takes precedence. The counsel of the Seers and the perspective to take in advancement. The Lunar Yonic Traditions versus Solar-phallic Creationism. They go hand in hand also.  

Lord of Illusions by Clive Barker is on the way. I am the magician and the exorcist. There is a course on Feeding Your Demons in March of next year. Something to look forward to. I am booking a craniosacral therapy appointment with a friend of mine. I have begun S.R.T. audio files. Dream recall picking up. Liber Astarte: Shemyaza. 

NUIT

SHEMYAZA

THE GOETIA

 BABALON

Akathisia

 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Process_(collective)

Beyond pain is bliss. 

Five prayers a day, smoke them if you got em. The Dyadic cyclone. 3:33. 

 13 dice=78 cards. 33 grades. 22 major arcana+ 10 Sephira.  

distancing and boundaries. bite it you scum. 

Laugher has no opposite.

  

""Consider laughter: it is the highest emotion, for it can contain any of the others from ecstacy to grief. It has no opposite. Crying is merely an undeveloped form of it which cleanses the eyes and summons assistance to infants. Laughter is the only tenable attitude in a universe which is a joke played upon itself." - Peter Carroll, Liber Null

"

Laughter yoga. 

Dream journal picking up. 

 Terminal Man by Crichton. Wandering the Waste. 

My Brother Emerson (center) competing in the US Army Best Squad competition this year.

  I am taking a refresher course in hypnosis at the Past Life Awakening Institute. Mark Beale's course in S.R.T. was so good that I found myself looking into more courses offered by him. I am also taking an introduction course in the Freedom Model of recovery for consulting clients in the future with addiction issues. 12 step programs are cults and I found myself in the midst of one of them for several years. Eventually I left to pursue my own path and felt a lot better than when I was in the groups. 

Cults. Freedom of Mind by Steve Hassan is a good primer. He has an online course also. Got my TOPY Grey Book back. Speaking of cults. 

I read The John Lear Chronicles Volume One. It was a good Saturn's-day read. 

White Heat

"Mark out the points

Build the pyre
Assemble different drummers
Light up the fire
Put on your masks
And animal skins
Illumination, illumination
Listen to the drums
Between each beat, each beat of the drum

O beloved mother of liberty
Hold me in your arms

Burn burn, burn brightly
Burn burn, burn white heat

And the day will come
Before the lights go out
Who will you turn to
Who will you turn to
Choose the crucifixion
Or Osiris slain
Recurring themes, time again

Illumination, illumination
Burn burn, burn brightly
Burn burn, burn white heat

Oh how ingenious the centuries of lies
Ezekiel's chariots streak across the skies
Holy books and history texts forget
Because we know
Souls are recycled in the death and resurrection show

O beloved mother of liberty
Come to me

Everything I'm taught, amounts to nought
Everything I learn, the fire shall burn
Notions of myself that I'm not
Who ever I was is now lost

Illumination, illumination
Burn burn, burn brightly
Burn burn, burn white heat

Oh how ingenious the centuries of lies
Ezekiel's chariots streak across the skies
Holy books and history texts forget
Because we know
Souls are recycled in the death and resurrection show

O beloved mother of liberty
Come to me

Burn away all my impurities
Hold me in your arms

Burn burn, burn brightly

Burn burn, burn white heat"

 I just completed a course in Modern Demonology from paralearning.org It provided useful guidance on the subject and even covered summoning (invocation). Instrumental Trans-communication, or ITC caught my interest and I want to know more about it. 

The Spirit Releasement Therapy course taught by Mark Beale on udemy presents way more material than the books I came across. Highly recommended. The majority of people I know believe the dead remain silent. Maybe the subtle contact comes through in various ways, often discounted or denied. For me Death represents a great cultural myth that many people unknowingly subscribe to. Take the mourning of a loved one that takes the form of desperation or permanence. Christians often grieve like this and then add that God took them as His Will. I meet Buddhists who also grieve like this and imagine a Pureland Heaven where they will reunite. 

"Brain research supports the existence of at least seven primary-process (basic) emotional systems - SEEKING, RAGE, FEAR, LUST, CARE, GRIEF (formerly PANIC), and PLAY - concentrated in ancient subcortical regions of all mammalian brains."

Grief appears as a valid emotion. Most people struck with the loss of a loved one in the United States, lack a grieving ritual or process. Communication with the dead, holding vigils, and other methods for grieving grow towards attitudes beyond the secular. More and more people are going this direction and feel loss acutely for a prolonged period. Extended suffering and ignorance of the process of dying often leads to feelings of shame or guilt. A vicious cycle of living and definitely not satisfactory for my way of life. 

The Hebrew legend states five parts of the soul. Two of which we cannot apprehend. The remaining three get explained in this letter from a Rabbi:

"Dear Eliezer Shifrin,

A soul is like a chain with one end linked into the brain and the other to a certain spiritual source. There are five levels of the soul like the five links in a chain, each one parallel to the spiritual sphere where it exists. However, we only relate to the three bottom links as we have no understanding about the two top ones. The three are 1) Nefesh 2) Ruach 3) Neshama. The nefesh is the spiritual existence which resides in the body and keeps the physical metabolism working and the person alive. The ruach is a connection between the neshama and the nefesh. It is the cause of feelings and personal qualities. The neshama is the spiritual existence which pulls the man towards G-d, to the performance of good deeds, to be pious and humble and to seek knowledge and achievement in spiritual fields. It resides around the head.

When a person dies, it takes seven days before the parts of the soul understand that it's all over and leave the body. Until then they hover around the grave and travel to and fro between the grave and the house of the deceased, waiting for the body to start functioning again. The nefesh does not completely leave until the body is decomposed."

Consider that the nefesh remains as long as the bones reside in your coffin before getting buried. Crowley got cremated. Speculation regarding his reasoning remains. Bones turn to dust also. This Rabbi states it takes seven days, but others say six weeks. During this period there exist activities one performs to honor and process death. Compare that to the average secular American and you get the picture. God is Dead as proclaimed meant so are you. People believe this.  Smells like a vast conspiracy to create more earthbound spirits after death. 

After reading about possession and spirits from Doctors and other professionals on the fringe, I came into contact with a different perspective. Earthbound spirits of the human dead, dark force entities, and extraterrestrials name some of the presences detected by these people. People at the whims of hungry ghosts and malevolent entities sounds like a cop out of responsibility to many. Gurdjieff said the majority of us remain robots and "food for the moon". Barely cognizant and filled with many "I"s. 

"Legion. For we are many."

Labels

 

"Lyrics

Red hand takes a purple terror
Love knows these nuts
When we escape from the madhouse
We will... hunt down

Tonight we murder
Between the battle of pain and hate
We will wait, but not for our time
We'll for hate and to take
To deep... throat

Tonight
Tonight we murder

Between the pain, the battle of pain
Love never ties knots
A twisted plan of fear and hate
We'll never untie these nuts

Tonight we murder
I murder

Tonight we murder"

There exist tools for consciousness change. Some look more effective than others. Some require seeking a Professional and others need self direction. So things appear at this present time. I utilize a combination of both with some underlying stipulations. 

People mood alter from a very young age, with breathing, crying, and even spinning until they become dizzy. Mood altering devices consist of many thing, including: exercise, meditation and praying, television, internet browsing, food (dieting and binging), etc. To be at odds with mood alteration doesn't fall in line with my philosophy. 

"II:52

   

There is a veil: that veil is black. It is the veil of the modest woman; it is the veil of sorrow, & the pall of death: this is none of me. Tear down that lying spectre of the centuries: veil not your vices in virtuous words: these vices are my service; ye do well, & I will reward you here and hereafter." So Speaks Nuit.

"II:70

   

There is help & hope in other spells. Wisdom says: be strong! Then canst thou bear more joy. Be not animal; refine thy rapture! If thou drink, drink by the eight and ninety rules of art: if thou love, exceed by delicacy; and if thou do aught joyous, let there be subtlety therein!" So speaks Hadit. 

After practicing Liber Nu and Liber Had, I came to an understanding with these passages. I once,many years back, complained about my vices to a Chaos Magickian and He replied, "Guilt-Gnosis". It pierced my characted armor, leaving a scar on my psyche. According to LuSiD9, on a chat board, "'chemognosis' is basicaly the use of chemicals (usualy psychoactive) for the purpose of bending reality to cause change according to will (or at least an aid)"

I like the way that was put. 

There exists The Apollonian and the Dionysian according to Nietzsche. 

"The death of one is a tragedy

The death of one is a tragedy
The death of one is a tragedy

The death of millions is just a statistic" As sung by Marilyn Manson quoting Stalin.

 "Schopenhauer recommends a limiting of desire and resignation from life. While Nietzsche recommends an artistic response to the tragedy of life." You can choose to live your own tragedy with all the details of what things exist like for a human being. While the Gods play. 

Nietzsche further more declares the Slave Morality and the Master Morality. People tell children they can grow up an exist as they will, yet simultaneously attributing labels to their behavior.  It has even become common for the parents to impose these limitations on themselves/This kind of script serves a self fullfilling prophecy. 

"Know Thyself. These words were inscribed above the entrance to the temple of Apollo at Delphi, site of the sacred oracle." 

"Hi, I relate to the enneagram number Five." Diagnosing yourself is an option. It still remains conditional. In hypnosis this type of labeling ususually implies scripting. If you go to a Professional, you play the role of client,mentally disturbed, patient, or other. Master/Slave morality at play.

I recommend His work. 

Possession

Samgina. Mistake:

"you can't think your way into better acting, you have to act your way into better thinking." 

American Board of Hypnotherapy number: "H15107"

Arkham Asylum. 

Taking a course on Spirit Release Therapy. This is imparting training on how to effectively deal with entities. So far it explains things in depth and feels satisfying. 

I decided on using Bill Finch's pendulum chart for work. His book stands as an excellent primer on the practice of pendulum work and possession. 

I utilize the Stanislavski Method for my current Liber Astarte project.  I got a copy of The Complete Stanislavsky Toolkit to help me with the process. 

Reichian Therapy and Orgonomy still interests me. Reichian Therapy for Home Use By Dr. Jack Willis gives details on therapy techniques that I will use. Dr. Hyatt approves. Israel Regardie wrote an interesting book on the subject as well.

The Remote Viewing project remains at a stand still. I need to get a player for the audio file and other files I intend on using. 

Satan-Fire-The King

Lucifer-Air-The Warrior

Leviathan-Water-The Magickian

Belial-Earth-The Lover

Names taken from The Book of Abramelin The Mage. 

This book helped me plan some effective time management. It contains some useful exercises and great points on attaining a level of efficiency for professional or personal use. I first discovered the four hour concept from the Wobblies and found it an interesting proposition. 

 

Morphic fields draw me to Palo Mayombe and the Runes. So far I found this book and the UTHARK theory of Sigurd Agrell. 

Short and concise

I turned 40 with interests churning, reading a lot. 

Celebrated with Liber Astarte.

 I need a portable cd player and Remee Lucid Dreaming Mask. Time set to 3:33 a.m.

"This hour, spanning from 2 am to 3 am, is thought to be a time when the veil separating our dimension from the next is at its thinnest.

Consequently, it’s suggested that darker entities and rituals are most active during this hour, capitalizing on the thin barrier between worlds."

I have been keeping a dream journal. I am somewhat better about lucidity in dreams. The current opportunitity for success is dream intention for the moment lucidity does arrive. I have some dark ideas. 

I read Mantak Chia's Darkness Technology book. It was good but lacked a meditation in it. Later on I found a suitable meditation in this book:

 I found this book to be very refreshing and enjoyable. Theistic Satanism, or as Brother Nero calls it, Traditional Satanism, crushes the atheistic model. Here is why: To not be able to imagine an intelligence greater to your own is a limiting point of view. Maybe you become a Noble Animal but that is where you end. Intelligent Design welcomes the Ubermensch, or Overman. Life affirming, and creative. 

"Walter Kaufmann wrote that Nietzsche "celebrates the Greeks who, facing up to the terrors of nature and history, did not seek refuge in "a Buddhistic negation of the will," as Schopenhauer did, but instead created tragedies in which life is affirmed as beautiful in spite of everything."^[2][3] Schopenhauer’s negation of the will was a saying "no" to life and to the world, which he judged to be a scene of pain and evil. "[D]irectly against Schopenhauer’s place as the ultimate nay-sayer to life, Nietzsche positioned himself as the ultimate yes-sayer…."^[4] Nietzsche's affirmation of life's pain and evil, in opposition to Schopenhauer, resulted from an overflow of life.^[5] Schopenhauer's advocacy of self-denial and negation of life was, according to Nietzsche, very harmful.^[6] For his entire mature life, Nietzsche was concerned with the damage that he thought resulted from Schopenhauerian disgust with life and turning against the world.""

We imagine a dream. Then as Magickians, we manifest it. Going back as far as I can remember, there has been a influence, no matter how subtle, guiding me back to the source. 

These are some books I recommend that are short and concise. 

Dead Currents

 The Aeon of Horus and the Kali Yuga run concurrent for me. I just finished reading The Secret History of The World by Mark Booth. It was a fun read but I found a few things I disagreed with. One was the theory that extraterrestrials are encompassed in the secret teachings of secret societies. Mark Booth claims that this is not the case. He doesn't digress into psychology about it either, which I liked.

Mind before matter was one central teaching theme that remained constant throughout the book. The idea that the mind precedes matter and that matter is condensed thought is intriguing. There are scientific experiments further solidifying this stance. He doesn't spare the cult of science either. He cites numerous examples of people in history, that changed the course of things, had been influenced by the occult. 

Altered states of consciousness are also addressed in terms of initiations. 

 The mineral, the vegetable, and the animal were touched upon. The vegetable body is the vehicle of the astral. Strangely, I feel less shock decapitating a chicken, than I do cutting a vegetable. That being said I feel a connection to an astral dimension. The chakras are a part of that as well as kundalini. 

My book on Astral Projection arrived and I am starting on my birthday. I have been working on a dream book in the mean time. So far I have made some progress recalling and coming to lucidity. I ordered  books on Remote Viewing and Gurdjieff. Ouspensky is boring and tedious. I had to look for another source. I also got Pole Shift by White so I could better understand what Jaz Coleman believes to be a coming catastrophe. 

I have awakened kundalini and the result was a blockage and buldging disc. I have a physical therapist I am working with and I believe the recording process will help relieve the situation. My album I am recording has 22 tracks. I half way there, halfway up the spine. Exactly where my pain is. 

از جمادی مُردم و نامی شدم وز نما مُردم به حیوان برزدم مُردم از حیوانی و آدم شدم پس چه ترسم کی ز مردن کم شدم؟ حملهٔ دیگر بمیرم از بشر تا برآرم از ملائک بال و پر وز ملک هم بایدم جستن ز جو کل شیء هالک الا وجهه بار دیگر از ملک پران شوم آنچ اندر وهم ناید آن شوم پس عدم گردم عدم چون ارغنون گویدم که انا الیه راجعون

I died to the mineral state and became a plant, I died to the vegetal state and reached animality, I died to the animal state and became a man, Then what should I fear? I have never become less from dying. At the next charge (forward) I will die to human nature, So that I may lift up (my) head and wings (and soar) among the angels, And I must (also) jump from the river of (the state of) the angel, Everything perishes except His Face, Once again I will become sacrificed from (the state of) the angel, I will become that which cannot come into the imagination, Then I will become non-existent; non-existence says to me (in tones) like an organ, Truly, to Him is our return.

-Rumi. This is a testing ground for further incarnation up the spectrum. Music and poetry will get you there.  "One day while in a public bath Rumi looked at himself with pity and said, ' I have never felt embarrassed by anyone before except that now that I see how much my body has become thin. I understand its language and what it is telling me about its situation, what it was hiding and expressing with these complaints ' You are giving me no rest, not even a whole day or a whole night so that I can gather my strength and help you bear the burden.' What could I say? MY peace of mind rests on the fatigue I impose on my body. Should I get one moment of peace, my soul would not."

I have become thin from fasting. My legs are fatigued. I need to restore health and heal. 

Dead Currents run through these veins. 

Holding keys to secrets well hidden. 

To have the courage to open the door and peer through into illumination, is to seek higher faculties. 

Om Nama Shivaya.

The days when I was an Aghori. 

The days when I was a Sufi. 

 

almost twelve years.

 It's August 2023 and I am making preparations for my 40th birthday. It has been about twelve years since I picked up a copy of Gems of the Equinox and began practicing my Thelema. It has been an incredible journey already. 2012 was the Galactic Alignment and the gateway for my consciousness. The Great Conjunction occured in 2020 marking a transition as well. 

In these years between 2012 and now, I have discovered much. 

• The Existence and Name of a praeterhuman intelligence known as My Holy Guardian Angel
• Saturnian magick and conspiracy
• How to summon and work with the Goetia, also their origins
• Became an Necromantic Exorcist and discovered the realm of the Dead
• Found the morpho-genetic resonance with ancestry
• Penetrated addiction and sobriety
• made peace with mood alteration and anti-psychiatry
• Found the Kali Yuga and the prophecy of the New Aeon
• Found the secret of Phamakos and the mysteries of Tradition
• Developed a personal practice of Thelema without the support of an organization

I did discover who the heir to the A∴A∴ system was: It was Motta's line through the Caretakers of Thelema. However I found out that the grade structure and curriculum weren't in line with the Kali Yuga. I found that I am a typical Kali Yuga man. Tradition has been corrupted for me. It only exists in fragments. I have sifted through these materials with a guiding intuition or force that I came to call My Holy Guardian Angel. 

I chose to follow this intuition instead of progressing through an order. I also have created a Lodge for doing this. The member picks the grade material to work with. Following breadcrumbs right into the oven. 

The Dark Ages are upon us again. 2024 has prophetic visions of nuclear events or catastrophe. Entropy is a motherfucker and Saturn reigns. 

Sometimes I read the enemy scripture tracts. Keeps me knowing what they are thinking. One of those authors is highlighting the significance of the return of Saturn. He only touches the surface but is aware of the elite's organizations that support Saturn's cause in America. It will be a good read. 

My Uncle Julio introduced me to the idea that there were ancient aliens in the 90's. He was a orphan, hard working immigrant, and I was baffled by the concept such a skeptic to religion held. I keenly remember that response he gave and thought that it was fascinating. Fast forward to 2000's and this information was going everywhere including the history channel. Zechariah Stitchen and others expanded upon the topic and it invited Hollywood to make some captivating cases of alien intervention (Prometheus).

Now I have watched the Senate briefing on U.A.P.'s and heard testimonial that there is recovered craft and non-human occupants. Some think it is another false flag. Like COVID or 9/11.  The Brookings report reveals that it has been a possible policy for the U.S. government to not confirm the presence of extraterrestrial life. Now it seems they want to change the story. 

I found John Lear and Bob Lazaar in my journeys. By now they can control alien craft and utilize it to shape public perceptions. Directed energy weapons are now being deployed. In 2024 there is the prediction of an event. This might be orchestrated by our own kind. Seldom do people question where these films like Oppenheimer and others get their funding.  These are films are intended to shift mass attention.  It would be an opportunity for the New World Order as they once called it. 

Also known as the 300, Bohemian Grove, and the World Economic Forum, these entities are thoroughly tracked by news sources like project censored. They are having trouble hiding even though they have gone international.  

"Don't try to tell me that some power can corrupt a person

You haven't had enough to know what it's like

You're only angry 'cause you wish you were in my position

Now nod your head because you know that I'm right, all right!" Nine Inch Nails Capital G

The thermo-nuclear fossil fuels era needs a culling according to experts. Dependency on fuel won't go away anytime soon so the amount of people to use it will. Nuclear wastelands in bio-zones declared unprofitable and too consumptive. These are potential targets. COVID was testing for a lock down. Not to mention a genocide. Know your caste and strategically align yourself with the rules of the game to survive. Survive what? Death?

Thelema taught me Death is not an option for me and hasn't been in past lives. I have made contact with non-human intelligence so I believe we are not alone. I learned of the fourth dimension and nuclear mysticism yet as of yet, cannot go there at will. I look forward to the upcoming year and the rest of this one. I still haven't got a good grasp of Hugh Everette III's work or the simulation argument.

I have plans for my birthday. The First is a three month journey. I bought a book called Mastering Astral Projection. A 90 day guide. I also have picked up my copy of Ingo Swanns Psychic Literacy. I am also interested in remote viewing techniques. The first place I want to go is the Abi of Urkesh. 

The Abi is not unlike Skinwalker Ranch. It is a door. 

Syria is not a good place to visit in person right now so it is my first target. Like Burton in Mecca only safer. 

I think I am going back to marmorkrebs. Our homestead is prosperous. Humans versus the Watchers. This turning point of the kardeshev scale. 

Six types of Gods. Choose your rhythm.